Can Stress Really Lower Libido?

Yes. Stress is one of the most powerful and underestimated suppressors of libido in women/ people with vulva’s..

And importantly, it’s not just big, obvious stress. It’s the quiet, chronic, everyday stress that slowly reshapes the nervous system.

The Biology of Stress and Desire

When the body perceives stress, cortisol rises. Cortisol directly inhibits the production and function of sex hormones like oestrogen and testosterone. Blood flow is redirected away from non-essential functions, including sexual arousal.

From a biological perspective, this makes sense. The body is choosing safety over pleasure.

Mental Load Is Stress

You don’t need to feel anxious for stress to impact libido. Constant responsibility, multitasking, decision fatigue and emotional labour all activate the stress response.

Many women are mentally exhausted long before they reach the bedroom.

Why “Just Relax” Doesn’t Work

You cannot think your way out of a physiological stress response. Libido does not respond to pressure, guilt or obligation. It responds to safety.

This is why scheduling sex, forcing desire or pushing yourself often backfires.

Supporting the Nervous System

Restoring libido often begins with nervous system regulation. This may include improving sleep, reducing overstimulation, stabilising blood sugar, addressing burnout and creating moments of genuine rest.

Pleasure grows in spaciousness, not urgency.

A New Way Forward

If stress has dampened your desire, it doesn’t mean libido is gone. It means your body is asking for a different pace, more support and deeper care.

When stress is addressed at the root, libido often returns naturally, without force.